


Innocence, Ignorance

by imperiality



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura is an ocean goddess, Angst, Basically, Established Relationship, F/M, Letters, Light Angst, No Plot/Plotless, a break, give me, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 13:23:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18366872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imperiality/pseuds/imperiality
Summary: No one could ever replace you, Shiro. I truly don’t know if I will love anyone like you againYours forever and always,Allura





	Innocence, Ignorance

**Author's Note:**

> Context is actually pretty important but this fic is everywhere and nowhere so feel free to read the backstory or not:
> 
> This fic is basically a verbal vomit of my current feelings, inspired by the world of one of my own original stories. In that story, the world is divided into 4 sectors: Stars, Air, Land and Sea. Pertinent to this fic, the monarch over the Sea is quite literally the manifestation of the water's condition. What that means, is that if the monarch is depressed, kelp is wilting, coral is flaking, things are dying. If the monarch is cool, everything's cool. The sea monarch in this particular fic is Allura :)))
> 
> In the story, the sea monarch (who I actually don't call the sea monarch, but moving on,) and an Earth/Land botanist fall in love. He saves her from a curse meant for her and ends up having to search for his scattered pieces of fractured soul. (Think of Coraline having to find the 3 objects that the Mother hid.) Shiro is that botanist here and is currently on the search for his soul. 
> 
> I could absolutely go for like hours talking about the worldbuiling in my story, but enough of that (i mean of course, you're more than welcome to ask ';) ';) ';))) ) now back to the fic.

Why, it was only just yesterday that Allura had seen the light of day. It was only just last week that she stopped being swaddled, stopped being coddled. It was only just around the corner, down the stream, against the wind that Allura’s white of ignorance had been soiled.

Why, Allura remembers when love had flown so freely. When laughter was her currency and the only thing she coveted was seeing herself be the catalyst of laughter in turn.

Allura remembers how she was so utterly bewildered that pride could be _frowned upon._

Allura remembers learning how pleasure could be _bad_.

In the nights of her fitful sleep- fretting for the trident above her head and worrying if it would truly be her head to fit into the crown- she worried for how much innocence she could truthfully confess she had. She was dread to think how ignorant she could afford to let herself remain.

It was only mere moments, seconds but eons and ages ago that she knelt under the cascading falls, letting the waters anoint her to puissance.

Allura remembers how water was little more than the cloth with which to wipe her day away.

Why, for as much as Allura remembers… she remembers the water being the tether that tied her to love at all.

In her kingdom holding her queen and captive, Allura refuses to look to the throne at her side that should be filled by one of equal yoke.

A king’s throne.

(Allura’s partner in crime.)

Ever since the submission to her kingdom and the dismissal of her soul, she refuses to look to the empty throne for more than seconds at a time. She couldn’t afford it. Not when the very life and livelihood of her people pulsed out from her very heart’s beat. She couldn’t allow it. Not when she remembered just how incendiary her love had burned.

The water it giveth.

Allura recalls when the water gave her mysteries and adventures more abundant than the jewels in a sunken chest. She would ride the tides and waves of the water wherever it took her; to another celebration to rejoice in. To another bereaving to commiserate with. To another family in which she would take of their surname.

In her memories, when the tides were still low and the sun was still high… when the sand was still soft and her heart was still hers… Allura would make herself cry for the most superfluous reasons. Reasons like a “broken heart”.

Alllura, you had known the boy for two weeks! Surely there are a great plenty more fish in the sea.

…She would dance in sunken caves and sun-kissed shores with love and laughter and joy unbidden. With friends she would call family and family she would know better than her own self, her greatest burden was deciding what dress to wear during the day.

With her friends and family and heart, she had loyalty. She was loved. She belonged.

The ocean was no match for the waves she would make.

Allura, ignorant and innocent and foolish, remembers assuming the sea would know no greater love than the love she had for him.

For in her youth and in her joy, he was always there with her.

In the throne to her right he would sit. Beautiful and regal, composed. Confident. Unwavering. Loved.

The water it taketh away.

Allura had always prepared to take up her cross and her crown alone, but she never thought she’d actually have to. Why… it was only just a heartbeat away that Shiro escaped her thoughts.

In Allura’s busy and bustling, ever lonely castle whose walls close more with every step, she assumed no greater burden.

The woman remembers when she would wake up, excited that she alone had been chosen to be the sea’s heart. With every day passing, she clambers into sleep bemoaning it ever more.

She doesn’t remember when exactly her duty became such a chore.

She doesn’t remember the exact moment she turned her back on her youth.

She doesn’t know how she let all her love go.

In her lonely castle walls, being pampered and spoiled and groveled to beyond propriety, she knows the only thing that will keep her sane…

She takes up her pen,

…even if it serves to make her eyes water like every time before…

she shuffles the paper,

…and she writes the same words much like every unsent draft proceeding…

and wrings out what little of her heart is left to written word, flowing from the water to her soul to her hand to the page.

(Back into the water it will be released again, continuing the ouroboros without mercy.)

 

_Dear Shirogane,_

No… no. “Shirogane” doens’t sit well with her heart.

_Dear Shiro,_

A little better.

_Dearest Shiro,_

Much better.

And now,

Now she can truly begin.

 

_Dearest Shirogane._

 

_How I keep missing you evermore. Everyday that passes brings my thoughts closer and closer to you. If only the days could bring my body, soul and mind to you, too. I miss you so terribly, Shiro. If only you could hear the thoughts that pass through my mind. It seems that the only thing that preoccupies them are plans to bring myself to where you are. Maybe you would laugh. Maybe you would chastise me. Maybe you would encourage me, because maybe…_ _maybe you miss me, too._

_I worry for you too, Shiro. It has been so long since I’ve seen your face. It must have been since we were both sitting down listening to silly Professor Perkins prattling on about the physics of enchanted broom levitation. Do you remember that? I always loved going to you and your brother’s house and studying together. Your grandparents were so kind. When I met them, I knew exactly where you had gotten your sweet smile from. I hope you forgive my embarrassment about never inviting you over- you must know how unforgivingly my father would pester both of us._

_Besides, I didn’t want to scare you off too soon._

_In the end, I guess it didn’t matter if I scared you off or not. I know not whether you have managed to find your broken soul. I pray you have._ _I pray you haven’t._ _I pray that once you have, that you would forgive me for putting you in such a predicament to begin with._

_You with your damn chivalry! You should have let me take that witch’s curse and let it be over with. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to bear ever thinking that you were still without your (so very tender and caring) heart. If you hadn’t taken the curse for me, perhaps I wouldn’t have to sit on this throne at all. I wouldn’t have to look over to the empty throne next to me everyday and wonder just who could fill its place, in replacement of you._

_No one could ever replace you, Shiro. I truly don’t know if I will love anyone like you again._

_If you hadn’t taken that curse, I wouldn’t be sitting in this palace with all my practiced apologizes, hoping you’d come back so I could say even just one of them to you._

_If it were me that had taken the curse, things would surely be much different. But I remain hopeful that it would have been for the better. I don’t know how much of me that is saying that… how much of me that just wants to be in your arms again. The part of me that does not think I can go even one more day without seeing your smile._

_I am so very worried that I have already forgotten the sound of your voice. The feeling of your heartbeat against mine._

_Do you remember that one very precious visit, where I had been exhausted to belief? You told me to take a rest with you, and we did. I slept uninterrupted, I fell asleep within minutes. It was the most peaceful rest I think I’d ever gotten. That still remains my favorite visit with you, even after all this time._

_Each day I pray for some word from you._

_When you left after the curse that fractured your soul, you took a piece of mine with you._

_I pray you have forgiven me- hoping that you have, but not daring it for more than a moment._

_Each day I miss you more and more. I miss what we had with each other, but with each day that passes, the more I am pessimistic that that can ever be again. I have long since resigned myself that I will always miss you._

_I will always love you,_

 

_Yours forever and always,_

_Allura_

**Author's Note:**

> (((rosie, if you're out there,,,))


End file.
